how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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