Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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This sentence is false.

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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