Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roey Jegen

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops