What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You know what sucks? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

thumb_up thumb_down -24

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whos the bitch now!?! you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

thumb_up thumb_down -26

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops