When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

Yo mamas so fat.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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