What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Vagina.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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the asian kid gets an F

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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