You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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You've heard of take your child to work day, but I bet you haven't heard of 9/11- take your plane to work day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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