Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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A Jew! Bless you.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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