What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops