what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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Measurology: The measurement of your measure can measure the measurement of measures, along with measurements exceeding the measurements of measurement, with measures at the measurement of measuring measured measures. - ToFlyForU_28

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a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

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Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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