Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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