Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

You know whats annoying? Steve

How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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