What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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