Apple hates Blackberry.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

I have a really funny joke.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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