Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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