Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Cripples are lame.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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