A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Read a Book.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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