When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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