How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops