When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Kevin and Ramin

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops