Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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