Female Orgasms

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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