2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

i saw amango it splootered

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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