Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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