Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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