How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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69

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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