A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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