Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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