'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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