Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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