What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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