How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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