roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Golf.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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