1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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