what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

Donald Trump

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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