But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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I like the color potato.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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