Why did the old man die? He was old.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

9/11 my birthday

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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