What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Faithful men.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Ross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops