What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Andoni was here

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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