A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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I'm so punny.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops