Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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penis

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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pudding

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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