What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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