What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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69

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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