why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

Alright then, call me sometime then.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

A guy walks into a bar

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

Your life

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...