When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops