Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops