How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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