Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops