- Anti Joke

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

Llamaworm

Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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