what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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