What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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