What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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