What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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National security?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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