I was so fat I went on a diet

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Women's rights

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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