What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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