Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

poop

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

What's two plus two? Window

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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