There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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Seven

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops