Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Jesse gets so many ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops