Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

After six days in prison, and the eight hours in court straight they finally randomly decided that I "acted in self defense" which I did, so I demanded recompensation for they locking me up and wasting my time... ...And hell if I did not get 12.000USD for it, not before they called me disrespectful and immoral, before I shut them the fuck up... ...""Earning" your respect wont pay my bills, while I am apparently the only one with balls here, what else can you say when you everybody else shuts the fuck up and sits down because the "alpha male" of your pack, yes you a grotesquely fat ass in a black dress and a gray womans wig smacks his little hammer on his desk... Judge my ass" Speaking of morals... "It is called sacrasm furfags" Nero: Did I mention that her boyfriend broke four fingers on his hand against my chest (supposedly it was a punch of some sort), then he countered my attack(?), as he skillfuly blocked both kicks with his face, as he fell down cried and pissed himself like the 52 year old "adult" he is? Then I broke both his knees with my heels and told him I would kill him too if he told the cops that I did so in self defense... In self defense of course... Drugs told my mother I was Satan, and that I would end up killing her the very day I was born... Little did I know back then, that whatever kind of angel dust she used then was right about me killing her... Now its her turn to climb up from the hell she sent me trough, except that I locked the gate at the end. I miss my real arm though, which she chopped right off me when I was six and offered it to God as tribute, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it it... That kinda felt nice compared to waterboarding and all the other shit she did to me, as for my father... Tried to break my neck because I was at my room studying when he caught me scratching my prosphetic arm which was a sin apparently, yes reader I literally killed my father too and you dont hear me whining about it. Nero: I had a custom prosphetic arm made, it wont pick up or hold shit, you can in fact crush your own fathers skull with a fist literally made of steel, even if you still cant believe its not real butter. Solvemedia: Politically correct, thumbs the fucks ups for the irony... Or the steel which I used in pure fear as my neck snapped and my legs went numb... Just a literal pain in the neck for the rest of my life though, and a nice memory...

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

8=> >->-o

what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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