Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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Raveena Thandhan

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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what's up? my penis.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops