Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Here is the worst joke ever. ..... Dislike this and you are awesome!! P.S. I'm serious. I want to make a joke with the MOST DISLIKES ever! Don't think this is reverse psychology. I don't do that shi*t.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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