Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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