"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

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long in the tooth!

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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