What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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What is worse than a worm in you're apple? Two worms in you're apple.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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