What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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homosexuals are gay

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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women's rights

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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