- Anti Joke

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

canadians

there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Sex education in Texas,

Justin Bieber

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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