Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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