An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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Republicans

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A child walks into a classroom.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Canadians

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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