How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

know whats funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops