What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Womens rights !

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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