A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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ok

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Butt poop.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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