What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

You know what's catchy? A cold

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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