What's blue? The sky.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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charlie sheen losing

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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