Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Now heres a boy who can't read. Ngjmhgmgk? MTGKMJHGMjhkmjh(hgjnhgfjhgfj nj nvj vj kvnmg ifh) njki nj jo ncj kgjkfngjfk jkn jkgfngkfn gkn kgfnigkfnmg km kgf kglfn kglf kglgkflnm klnm mklm khlgfpnkmfklnmlk mbk lm klgfnmk gfmkngfnkgfklfknm m k kf mkfl m k gflmgkffmkopfdjtorper srhes hngfdlj;sdnht rktrtnr rdpkng ngngf.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Come In!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops